Speaker 1: Hey, welcome back. February, as they say, is the month of love, but so often people focus on the love they receive from other people, like a lot of us on Valentine’s Day. But it’s important to create it for ourselves here to discuss the importance of self-love and healthy relat. Is Dr. Erica Steele from Holistic Family Practice in Virginia Beach. Dr. Steele, this is something that I’m really passionate about. I’m really excited to talk to you today and thank you for joining the show.
Speaker 2: Of course. Thank you guys for having me so much. I always love coming on Coast Live,
Speaker 1: and I think this is something that a lot of people can relate to. I know I’ve definitely had. Valentine’s days and years passed where I felt left outta the party. If I had more self-love, that wouldn’t be an issue. How can people like me and our viewers at home learn to love themselves more?
Speaker 2: Yeah I think at first, begins with self-concept. And self-concept is how you perceive yourself, right? So if I’m always looking outside of myself for love, but then I’m lack. A healthy self-concept, I’m never gonna be able to receive the love that I so desperately want. So I say that’s the really, the first key is knowing a healthy self-concept. And that takes work, right? How you perceive yourself, affirming to yourself every single day, every single moment, all of the wonderful things you’re really, your self talk is really important.
Speaker 1: How do you achieve that level? Self-awareness where you’re able to exist inside your own head and not be caught up in all the negative thoughts. Like I, I personally get caught up thinking about like mistakes that I’ve made in my past. Sometimes it’s like things I said throughout the day that I feel bad about. I I, it becomes like a tornado of negativity. How do I get outta that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there’s two sides to your brain. There’s your subconscious mind, which houses your experiences, perceptions of those experiences, beliefs, et cetera, from the past. And then your conscious mind, which is your logic, your voice, your reason, your decision making, and they both have to agree, interestingly enough.
And so really it’s about releasing the past. In letting go, right? If they can, if those two sides of your brain can agree, like I did the best that I can, I’m working really, diligently on fixing this, I forgive myself. All of those affirmations of self love are so important. If you continue to beat yourself up mentally over and over again, you’re really never going. Love yourself or move forward in your self-healing. We
Speaker 1: just had a great graphic up of five steps to self-love. Specifically there was one listed the mental diet. What does that mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that’s all that chatter, right? That’s the, that’s all the things you like. I’ll give you an example, right? So I was at the gas station yesterday and of course gas prices are interesting right now.
And I go, immediately I said something negative about. Phrases, and immediately I caught myself. I said, No, we’re an abundant universe, right? Money flows all the time, right? And so keeping a mantle diet means that you’re present to what you’re telling yourself and really what you’re affirming to yourself every single day.
Every single moment, it does take work, right? So it’s not, an instant tool that you can pick up. But through practice and time and patience, you can definitely develop deeper self care.
Speaker 1: Number three on that list, Affirming self-love. I have such a hard time with affirmations. I can never believe the things that I’m trying to tell myself. What advice would you have for somebody like in my situation?
Speaker 2: So a state of kid, sleep is right when you’re about to go to sleep, right? Saying that affirmation that you want, because it goes into the subconscious mind. Also playing it at low volume while you’re sleeping, and then first thing when you wake up, also creating that affirmation as. So there are ways to reprogram that subconscious mind and affirm it where you know it, it leads into your day, right? So you’re affirming it right as you’re going to sleep, while you’re sleeping, right as you wake up. And then that way it just naturally bleeds into the conscious mind and conscious awareness while you’re. Working
Speaker 1: Dr. Steel Pur. Viewers wanna learn more about this. And by the way, thank you so much. I didn’t mean to turn this into a personal therapy session, but , it’s okay. I feel like this is extremely helpful and I hope that it’s, valuable for the folks watching at home. Where can I send everybody if they wanna learn more and if they want to talk to you?
Speaker 2: Yes, so we have a free webinar coming up where we go into this topic, much deeper self-care, self-love, It’s a free webinar. Also to create that self-love and self-care, but also to create healthy relationships with other people.
Speaker 1: Dr. Steele, thank you so much. There it is. All the information. 1213 Alaskan Road, Suite 1 0 8, Virginia Beach, Holistic family practice va.com. This has been such a valuable lesson for me. Thank you so much for coming on the show today.
Speaker 2: Awesome. Thank you.